Falling to Pieces
by apracot
Summary: Emily and Hotch share a kiss in a club, but what does it mean? How will they react? Do they actually love each other? And if so, can they make things work, or does Hotch's actions after the kiss tear them appart? Will be three chapters long.
1. Falling to Pieces

I was listening to The Script's song "Breakeven" and the idea for this story hit me like a train. It's full of angst because it's about unrequited love, but do try and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or The Script.  
_

"You want me to act like we've never kissed, you want to forget; pretend we've never met , and I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet... You walk by, and I fall to pieces." – Patsy Cline.  
_

Emily felt her body give a defeated sigh as she let herself fall into the folds of her warm bed and covered herself in the array of cream and red blankets, so only the top of her head remained visible.

She picked up the remote for her CD player from her bedside licker and used it to turn on some type of music to distract her, before she closed her eyes and lit the musical rhythm comfort her.

Rather than sleep however, she let the thoughts of what had happened earlier that evening come barging back to the forefront of her mind, as they refused to be pushed into the boxes where they belonged.

~.~.~.~.~.~

_Flashback:_

_The team had been out for the night due to a rare weekend when they weren't working or away on a case, and she'd been having a good time, she was a little tipsy after three beers, but she wouldn't call herself drunk._

_Yes, Emily certainly wasn't drunk, because if she was she may not have been aware of where Aaron Hotchner currently had his hands, placed firmly on her lower hips, as they both swayed in time to the club's heavy beat, and as they casually ground their hips together flirtatiously, almost couple like._

_It was because of this swaying and grinding going on between them, on the heated club floor, that she'd done what she'd done... She hadn't meant to but she had, and it had been based purely on lust and impulse. _

_She knew no one on the team would notice, Morgan and Garcia being too wrapped up in one another on the opposite end of the dance floor... their dancing being slightly over flirtatious as usual... and the rest of the team having left early._

_She could feel him grinding into her, she could feel his strong arms wrap around her back and pull her flush against him, so she'd done it... she'd snaked her hand to the back of his head and pulled him down until his head was level with hers and she'd kissed him._

_She felt him tense for a moment before giving in to the kiss and parting her lips with his tongue to gain access to her mouth as he pulled her impossibly closer, and continued to move slowly to the beat of the music, still letting her hips grind into him, and vice versa. _

_The kiss was magical, and a moment that Emily had dreamt about for god only knows how long... but the dream quickly ended as, just as she could feel her knee's begin to buckle, Hotch pulled away from her, walked to the table they'd been sitting at, picked up his jacket and left without a word._

_Emily had just stood there, surrounded by strangers who were still dancing to the beat as they had been moments before, as she tried to figure out what had happened and why he'd just run off. _

_After a long moment of standing in shock her brain kicked into gear and she ran towards the exit, and across the car park to where she could see Hotch standing by his SUV._

"_Aaron." She called timidly, feeling that calling him Hotch was too formal after what had happened._

"_Don't call me that." Hotch snapped back as he turned to face Emily. "What the hell was that back there Prentiss?" He shouted at her._

_His use of her second name hit Emily life a bullet, and it took her a moment to regain her senses, so she could answer him back._

"_That, Sir, was me kissing you and you kissing me back." She shouted in return, showing that she could pack just as strong a punch as he could._

"_Why the hell did you kiss me?" He demanded to know, his rage now getting mixed up with confusion._

"_You're the profiler Hotch, why the hell do you think?" Emily replied, feeling anger rise inside her at Hotch's reaction to the situation._

"_Well I wouldn't be fucking asking you if I knew." Hotch shouted, clenching and unclenching his fists._

_Emily closed her eyes as he spoke and as the words hit her she felt something inside her snap, and just like that she felt the rage that she was normally good at locking away let loose._

"_I kissed you because I fucking love you." Emily screamed as hot, burning tears of rage streamed down her cheeks, her words echoing into the DC air and being slowly drown out by the traffic. "I always have, and I regret to inform you, but I probably always will." She hissed, as she wiped the tears from her face, angry at herself for letting Hotch see them._

_There was a silence... a gripping silence like one from a horror movie, right before someone dies, that now hung in the car park like a bad smell, neither person wanting to break it, both hoping the other person would speak first._

_Eventually the club door opened as a young couple walked out, and the sudden burst of music, abet only a small one, and was enough to drag Emily and Hotch out of their heads and back to the club car park on a busy Friday night in DC._

"_I'm going to leave now." Emily whispered, her throat feeling raw from shouting. "I've said my part, and I guess you've said yours so..." She trailed off, as she turned towards the street, hoping to get a cab quickly._

"_Emily, no wait." Hotch called after her, "Emily please..." He called louder, but she ignored him, knowing that if she turned back now her emotions would still be too raw to face him._

_He'd broken her to pieces tonight and now she had to try and reassemble herself._

~.~.~.~.~.~

Emily felt a tear escape her eye as she gave a shuddering breath, wrapping her body even tighter in the blankets. She lay like this, not trusting herself even to get out of bed and take off her makeup, as her legs suddenly felt weak and lifeless.

After a while she heard the calming beat of "Breakeven" by The Script slowly fill up her room, and she couldn't help but smile a bitter smile as she listened to the lyrics and realised just how much the song related to her at this moment.

As the words "I'm falling to pieces" sang out over the speakers she couldn't help but nod her head subconsciously, knowing exactly how that felt.  
_

There, unrequited love, as promised! There's going to be two more chapters, so... Tell me what you thought and thanks for reading. =)


	2. Losing the Pieces

Ok, so this is a follow up to "falling to pieces" that I've posted due to popular demand. Thank you to all the people who read the first chapter, and especially the people who reviewed it.

A line from another song called Valentino prompted this chapter by the way.  
_

"My tears may not show, but oh honey they flow." – Diane Birch (Valentino)  
_

Just as the last chords of the song sounded, Emily heard a knocking on her door. She ignored it at first, hoping it was her imagination, but the noise just got louder and louder, and was eventually joined by the sound of Hotch's voice calling her name, until she simply couldn't ignore it anymore, and she reluctantly made her way down stairs to the door.

He was the last person she wanted to see, in fact she never wanted to see him again... but there was something about his voice, every time she heard it she dropped everything for him, whether it was at work or whether he asked her to come over because Jack wanted to see her... she always dropped what she was doing and went running to him.

And it looked like tonight, even after what he said, she'd be no different.

"What do you want?" Emily snapped, once she opened the door to reveal a weary and distressed looking Hotch.

"To talk with you." Hotch replied, talking a step into her apartment as he spoke.

"And what if I have nothing to say?" Emily countered, her voice laced with anger.

"Then all I ask is that you listen to me." Hotch replied sombrely, taking another step into the apartment and managing to pry Emily's fingers off the door and close it behind him.

"After what you said to me... after how you treated me. What makes you think you can come into my home and ask that of me?" Emily questioned him, trying her best to stay composed, and block his path to her living room all at once.

"Please Emily... I'm begging you, please." Hotch begged her.

Emily considered shouting and screaming at him, telling him to get to hell out of her life and to stay there, but she couldn't... she looked into his brown eyes, that were now brimming with a rarely seen hint of emotion and she just couldn't turn him away, no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't say no to this man... not now, not ever.

"I'm not sure I want to... I'm not sure I can put myself through that." Emily whispered to Hotch honestly after a long gripping pause, as she slowly walked over to a couch and sat down with a thud.

Hotch followed her silently, sitting beside her and reaching out for her hand, only for her to pull it away quickly and slide down the couch, further away from him, just out of reach.

"Emily, I was wrong... I was wrong to freak out like that... you just caught me off guard... I never meant to run, or to hurt your feelings." Hotch informed her... he wanted to say more, but he couldn't, he couldn't find the right words to explain how he felt.

"Yea well you did Hotch." Emily hissed. "Just this once... just this once I wanted to be that girl. The girl who got the guy. I know its clichéd, and I know it's stupid, but all my life I've been overshadowed. As a teenager, boys only liked me so their parents could get in the same political circle as my parents, or because I acted like a complete slut in high school... not because of me. Even now, I can't go on more than one date without doing something that makes the guy run a mile." Emily fumed as she felt her eyes stinging at her unexpected confession, but she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't let him see that.

"Emily, I don't know what to say..." Hotch began hesitantly.

"There's nothing you can say Hotch... nothing you can say to make things right again." Emily spat. "When I kissed you, and you kissed me back... You'll never know how good that felt, and I don't mean sexually, though that was magical as well. You were the first guy ever, to know me for who I am, and to still kiss me back. You've seen me at my best, and you've most definitely seen me at my worst, and when you kissed me back, I stupidly thought, just for the tiniest second, that you loved me, flaws and all." She whispered in anger.

"But Emily, please, just let me talk to you!" Hotch exclaimed, as he watched Emily rise of the couch and begin to walk towards the door. "Please Emily!" He tried one final time, grabbing her arm just below the elbow and trying to pull her back to the seat.

"Don't ever touch me again!" Emily growled, as she tugged her arm roughly out of Hotch's grasp and took another step away from him, holding the area he'd grabbed and glaring at him.

"I'm sorry." Hotch gasped when he realised that him grabbing her arm had probably been taken in the wrong light by Emily. "I just didn't want you to leave." He told her in shock at his actions.

"I'm not leaving Hotch... you are." Emily snapped. "Just get out of my house." She added when she seen that he was going to try and talk to her again.

He wanted to say something... he wanted to make things right again, but he knew she was angry, and he didn't blame her after the way he had treated her, so instead he stood slowly from the couch and walked to her door, turning back and staring her dead in the eye once more before he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Once the door was firmly closed he leant against it, letting his body slide down it slightly as he tried to formulate a plan to make things better.

After a few seconds he felt a small thud against the door as, on the other side, Emily leant against it, and he heard her as she slid down it and began to cry, causing small tremors through the door frame as her body shook with anger and grief.

He wanted to go back, to knock on her door again and comfort her, but he knew he couldn't... he knew he couldn't go back in their tonight, it was still to raw, the wounds to fresh in Emily's mind for her to be able to listen to what he wanted to say... and that was another thing, he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say.

So instead of going back, he leant against the door and listened as she cried, until eventually the door stopped shaking and she fell asleep against it.

It was then, and only then, that he stood slowly and walked back to his car, knowing that the next time he came to her house he'd have a lot more than a lame apology to offer her.  
_

Yup, one more chapter to go... and it'll be a better one I promise! Tell me what you thought and thanks for reading! =)


	3. Putting the pieces back together

Ok, so this is the final chapter of "Falling to pieces". Thank you all so much for the reviews so far, and I hope you like this chapter.

Oh and a quote from Grey's Anatomy prompted this chapter.

"I'm in love with you. I can't promise a future, I can't promise perfection, because we're us, I'm me and you're you. No one knows what will happen. But in my heart, I am sure. I'm in love with you." – Izzie (Grey's Anatomy).  
_

It was now Sunday... it had been a whole two days, and Hotch still hadn't plucked up the courage to talk to her, but he knew he had to.

They had to go to work on tomorrow morning and there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell that he was going to let things be awkward between them, because if there was one thing he did know for sure, it was that he could not live without Emily Prentiss... whether it was her friendship or her love he couldn't live without was the part he was still working on.

So here he was, standing outside her apartment door, had outstretched, having just made contact with the wooden door, waiting for Emily to open up and let him come in... hopefully.

The door did open, but only a crack, only enough for Hotch to see a bit of Emily, as she poked her head around the door and stared him in the eye, the door chain preventing him from gaining access.

"What do you want?" She spat, still sounding just as angry.

"I want five minutes of your time." Hotch told her truthfully. "Emily I want five minutes of your time for you to hear me out, and after that, if you want I'll leave and never speak to you again." He added pleadingly.

Rather than reply Emily continued to glare at him, her nasty look not faltering even slightly, as she slammed the door, causing Hoch to inhale sharply. Had she just shut him out of her life for good?

He waited, waited for at least five minutes, not wanting to knock again, because he didn't want to push her too far, but at the same time not being able to uproot his legs from the spot they were now glued to.

"Why are you still there?" Emily's muffled voice called from the other side of the door, just as Hotch was about to admit defeat and leave.

"Why are you still watching me through the peep hole?" Hotch replied, trying to relieve some of the tension by injecting humour.

"I asked you first." Emily countered harshly, not even attempting to make her tone sound welcoming.

"You know why I'm here Emily... I want to talk to you, and I'm not leaving until I do." Hotch called back, the slightest hint of desperation seeping into his voice.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the door frame, before the sound of bolts scraping against wood and metal could be heard, and finally the door was open slightly, this time with no chain, but also no Emily.

Hotch pushed the door open carefully, half expecting to have a tin of paint fall on him from overhead, and walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him and spotting Emily sitting on her living room couch, staring into space.

"You wanted to talk... so I'm listening... speak." Emily whispered, not looking away from the wall on the opposite side of the room, as Hotch knelt down in front of her to try and catch her eye.

It was then, looking at her glassy eyes and anger ridden features that it hit Hotch like a train... it was both, it was her friendship and her love that he couldn't live without, because not only was Emily his best friend, but she was also the love of his life, and he had very nearly let that slip away from him.

"Emily I was wrong... I do love you." Hotch told her quietly, waiting until her now shocked, confused and angry eyes met his before he continued. "I thought that I could ignore it... that I should ignore it, because it would put my job at risk, but I realised, I just realised, that without you... no matter how many cases we have, no matter how many bad guys we put away, I wouldn't be able to do it, to put my job before life, because at the moment, you're the only person who's stopping me from taking a desk job so I can be closer to Jack. It's your smile, your laugh, your brains, your beauty, and the way you can brighten my day Emily... I love you for all of those things and so, so, so much more." He finished.

"Why the hell did you find the need to hurt me then... to crush my heart and then kick it around." Emily spat, tears stinging at her eyes as she tried to keep up an icy front, and keep her inner emotions hidden.

"Because I was stupid Emily, and I didn't see it then... I didn't see what I would lose until I'd lost it... But I don't want to lose it again, I don't want to let you go, because you mean far too much for me to do that." Hotch responded. "And I can't promise you perfection, or that this relationship will be a bed of roses, and I can't promise you that we won't have our ups and downs, but I can promise you that I'll love you unconditionally from now on, because I know for a fact that I love you Emily." He added with a smile.

"You know you hurt me." Emily whispered sadly.

"I know." Hotch sighed. "I know that, and I wish I hadn't, but if you'll give me the chance I want to prove to you that I'll never hurt you again for as long as I live."

"I want you to." Emily responded after a moment. "I want you to prove it to me." She clarified.

"Does this mean..." Hotch ventured slowly.

"This means I'm giving you a chance Aaron, I'm giving you a chance to show me that you love me... but if you mess this up... I can't let myself be hurt like this again." Emily confirmed, a sad look still present in her eye, even though she smiled when Hotch's face lit up.

"Never, never again will I hurt you, or let you down." Hotch responded happily. "I love you Emily Prentiss... I love you!" He added with a laugh and a smile that brought out his rarely seen dimples.

"I love you too Aaron." Emily told him with a shy smile, not used to seeing this much emotion in her boss.

Emily didn't even realise what was happening then, as Hotch pulled her off the couch and into a steamy embrace on the floor, crashing his lips against hers and letting his arms rest on the small of her back.

They stayed like that for a while, tongues and hands roaming freely, letting the situation get more and more heated until oxygen became scarce and Emily pulled back, gazing lovingly into Hotch's eyes as she now lay on his chest, as he lay on the floor of her apartment, between the couch and the coffee table.

"Thank you." Emily sighed, as she laid her head on Hotch's shoulder and let her nostrils become filled with the smell that was uniquely him... aftershave, and black coffee.

"For what?" Hotch asked quietly, as he ran his rough fingers through her hair.

"I don't really know actually." She responded with another sigh. "For not running away, I guess... for telling the truth." She told him eventually.

"I'm just sorry I didn't say sooner." Hotch told her, and this time it was his turn to sigh as he spoke, because he knew he was right... he knew he should have plucked up the courage to tell her sooner.

Hotch then leant down and kissed the top of Emily's head, waiting until she tilted her head up to look him in the eye before leaning down properly and capturing her lips in a more tender kiss than last time, letting his tongue roam her mouth slower this time, taking in every nook and cranny as it went and savouring each moment.

After a while they broke apart again and both sighed contently, each of them knowing that this was the start of something special... maybe not permanent, but definitely something special.  
_

There we go, story finished! Thanks for reading and thank you for all the wonderful reviews, I'd love some more! =)


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